List Of How To Irritate Everyone, Written by Seth
by IHateCakesWithPinkFrosting
Summary: This is a bunch of lists of how to irritate Everyone from Twilight!  Beggining with Paul and Jacob. Lots of Seth madness and people wanting to kill him and Emmett. PLEASE READ AND REVIEW! Very funny! Mwaz! First story, please I need your review!
1. Paul, Jacob and Doritos

**This is my first story, hope you like it. Please review it. *Smiley face***

**This is a list of how to irritate the wolf pack, starting with *pum pum pum pum* Paul.**

**Written by Seth….**

Firstly…..take al his food out of his fridge and replace it with vegetables …and then **RUN!**

Wake him up when he finally gets a chance to sleep…..and **RUN!**

When his fast asleep, draw a beard on his face and put toothpaste al over him….and **RUN!**

Challenge him to a fight at another time, and then don't show up…and **HIDE!**

Mock him that he and Leah is a cute couple ….and **RUN!**

Mock him about his temper, because he thinks he doesn't have a temper…o and **RUN!**

Sing Leah and Paul sitting in the tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G the whole time…and **RUN! **When he looks like he's going to flip.

When he's asleep pick him up smoothly and put him in the middle of nowhere….and **RUN! **And pray that he doesn't wake up while you're carrying him.

Tell him where going to the movies want to come? And don't show up….and **HIDE!**

Steal all his Doritos…..and make sure you leave no evidence behind, not even you're sent….I knows scary. *Shivers*

Fro him in the river, when his asleep of course…and **RUN!**

Give him doggie food as breakfast in the morning, by the way his **not **a morning person.

Replace al his clothes with Emmett's clothes, he hates that smell….o and **RUN!**

Tell him that he and Blondie, that's the freaky vamp chick that Emmett is dating, poor guy, anyway will also make a good couple….make sure you can run fast before you tell him that.

Irritate him, by talking constantly, standing in front of the TV when he's trying to watch baseball, eating yummy food in front of him and many, many, seriously there's a lot more you can do to irritate him.

**(For now that's al about my dear, dear friend… Mister Paul the cuddly teddy bear)**

**PS: Please, please don't show this to him! **

**Next is (wait for it, wait for it) Jacob! O yeah this is going to be great!*Happy face but also evil***

Firstly mock him about Bella, like for instance tell him she's going to be one of them…..by them I mean a leech.

Keep the Bella mocking thing going, you're on a winning streak.

Bella is going to suck our blood. *Evil voice added by a mwa ha ha ha ha ha*

Think about Bella being a leech al the time when you're in wolf form.

Talk about the Bloodsuckers al the time in front of him.

Eat al his Doritos.

Come in his house constantly, when he didn't invite you. And sing titanic songs, out loud!

Mock him by saying he's on steroids. Well look at him, his …..There isn't any words to describe.

Take a frying pan bend it and put a raw peace of meat in it a serve it for him as launch.

Put one of the Cullen's pillow under his head when his asleep. To make it worse take one of the blonds pillows. And **RUN! **

For his birthday buy him a chewing toy. Or a bone, that smells a little meaty.

Tell him jokes over and over. And make it the lamest and most stupid jokes ever invented.

Bother him when he try's to sleep. By singing loudly!

Eat al his food. Well the good food anyway, vegetables suck!

Tell Leah to visit him. And talk her heart out to him. *mwa ha ha ha ha ha*

Mmmm…be right back got to go for a snack! Doritos!

-10 min later-

I'm back…wow that was a good 20 packs of Doritos.

*Leah from background "IDIOT!"*

Sisters what do they know, anyway…..

I think I'm done with Jacob *whispers to self "for now mwa ha ha ha ha ha"*

**PS: Don't tell him about this please!**

* * *

**(To be continued) If you don't review I'm gonna write a list about you too...**


	2. The Evil Sis, Embry and Doing The List

**I'm back! Thank you for reviewing hope you like this to! Enjoy!**

**Written by Seth…..**

**Hi! I'm in the house! Well actually I'm in my room, typing….a list. O I am in the house…mmm wonder how I got here…aw well.**

**Enyhoo, I'm going on with my list. *Al hail the mighty list!* Starting with the one and only, stupid, irritating, think she's pretty, jealous….Leah!**

**My stupid sister.**

Firstly break her hair dryer and al that girly hair stuff.

Throw all her shampoo and cream out. And dip her washing towel and sponge into the mud or something else that's brown and stinky and gross, if you know what I mean. *mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha*

Eat like a pig in front of her, and spill now and then.

Put glue in her hair, oooh sticky. *Evil face*

Mock her that she and Paul makes a good couple, mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha *coughs* he he, sorry.

Think boy stuff when you're in wolf form. Toy cars rock!

Talking about cars *runs to get his toy car* broom broom broom, ti do ti do ti do….broom broom….and he win's the race, millions of fans cheering his name! *Realizes his still typing the list* Oops….sorry guys. *Clear throat*

When she asks for Lays chips buy her Doritos. And when she screams at you that she wanted Lays chips, eat the Doritos in front of her.

Think about how embarrassing it is to phase in front of her when you're in wolf form. She's my sister it's really gross.

Hide some of the Cullen's items in her room. That room is going to stink, and when I say stink I mean **stink.**

Every time Bella comes to visit Jake, make sure Leah is there at least one time.

Leah hates the bloodsuckers, so talk about them in a good way in front of her. That will really tic her off. *Rubs hands together evilly*

Don't treat her like a girl, act like she's one of the boys. I mean she is the only girl in the pack. Why not?

Once I pushed her into the mud, she got so angry I had to sleep outside for a **week. **So take this as a warning.

Mock her that she's a hall monitor on steroids, a girl one.

Throw that stuff you drink to make your stomach go all crazy, that you have to stay in the bathroom for hours, in her soda. That will not be pleasant for her. And for the people smelling…..I think I rather not go that into detail.

**Ps: Don't show this to her or my mom please!**

***This is al I'm going to say about my stupid sister, he he***

**Next is my best man… *Drum role*… ****Embry!**

Okay, replace all his food with doggie treats.

Wake him up when he's in a deep sleep. When I say deep sleep, I don't mean dead, he he.

Mock him by saying "sit doggie sit".

Tell him there is a stack of hot dogs and Doritos waiting at the Cullen's house, and when he gets there, al that is there waiting for him is the vampire stench.

Tell him Paul talked crap of him behind his back to two hot girls, and then he's walking into a death trap. Because then he is going to fight Paul, and he's going to loose bad, and by bad I mean broken rib, arm and maybe a leg or something else.

Say bla bla bla bla bla every time he's trying to talk to you.

Ask him if he want some Doritos on your way to get a pack for your self, and come back with only a pack for you. It works, really.

Repeat everything he says in the form of a question.

For example (I did this last week! It still hurts…)

Embry: Hay Seth!

Seth: Hay Seth?

Embry: What?

Seth: What?

Embry: What?

Seth: What?

Embry: What?

Seth: What what?

Embry: What what what what?

Seth: …. What?

Embry: You said what first!

Seth: I said _what _first?

Embry: What. You said "what".

Seth: What?

**Ps: Don't show him this, please!**

***That's al about Embry for now, he he***

**Next is *la la la la la, pum pum, pum pum* Quil!**

Every time he talks to you give him the silent treatment.

Every time you do something and he asks "what you doing?" tell him it's a mystery.

Ignore him, act like he doesn't even exists. He'll go nuts!

La la la di la la la di da….. I'm getting bored, I think the list thing is done…mmmm, wait I got it!

*clears throat and runs to Jacob's house*

**Seth is now at Jacob's house…..hope he knows what he's doing.**

Seth: *acting like he's a reporter, about to report.* This is Seth, the reporter, reporting, stuff. I'm at Jacob's house, I'm going to put the list in action. Wish me luck, I'm going, now *still standing there, taking deep breaths* now, I'm going _just go Seth, GO! _*Slaps self* ok I'm going!

*walks through door and nearly shouts "Hi Jake"*

Jacob: Um, hi *just looks up at Seth and goes back to watching TV*

Seth: *Walks causally to fridge and gets out a peace of cake* Su Jike, Eella becomag a leecha, itz bad.

Jacob: What?

Seth: *Swallows* I said! So Jake, Bella becoming a leech, it's bad.

Jacob: Shut up Seth!

Seth: Well think about it, if she kills someone, what will you do…

Jacob: Kid! If you don't, shut up **now! **You're….

Seth: Hope she can control her self, she is going to be so stinky, and she'll never be the same Bella…..

Jacob: AHHHHH! SETH! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!

Seth: By the way, Jake she loves Edward more than you…* Being choked by Jacob, it's not pretty, trust me*

-10 or more min later-

*Jacob threw Seth out of the house, he's now lying on the steps, in deep pain*

-1 min late-

*Seth stands up feeling way better, it's a wolf thing, he runs to the back of Jake's garage and catches he's breath*

This is Seth, reporting in, I did number one on Jake's list, got beaten up, so the list thing work's, really. Now I'm testing the al powerful list out on *pum pum pump pum* Paul! Wish me luck, I'm going in, on some crazy mission that may end my **life! ***runs to Paul's house*

Seth reporting in: I'm here, at Paul's. I'm thinking of retreating, but I'm no chicken, so here I go!

Seth: Just for the record, Paul has been running petrol the whole night, so he's probably sleeping now, excellent. *rubbing hands together, evilly*

*Seth is now entering Paul's house very quietly*

*whispers* okay I'm in, Paul is definably sleeping *listening to Paul snoring* now I just have to figure out which thing on the list I'm going to do…mmmm what about "wake Paul up when he finally gets a chance to sleep…and **RUN!" **yesssss * mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha * okay I'm going in…

*Seth is now lurking in the shadow's with he's own theme music, of course, and when his in front of Paul's room, he jumps out of shadow's dramatically, and leopard crawls to Paul's bed and pocks his head up at Paul's bed to look at Paul sleeping…freaky*

Seth: _ Mmmmm…..how to wake him up….oh I got one... _* Seth is now climbing in next to Paul and holding him and puts him face very close to Paul's.*

Paul: * Wakes up still little asleep and thinks Seth is a really hot chick, and them when he turns around to look at the "hot chick" he finds Seth…..very, very close to him and freaks out throwing Seth far from bed and fuming with anger.* YOU LITTLE…..

Seth: O yeah this is the part where you **RUN!**

*Seth is now running for his life, literally, while Paul is screaming "YOU LITTLE TWIRT!" he's to tired to run after Seth, but trust me he'll get Seth later…..poor Seth*

Seth was hiding from Jacob and Paul.

Jacob and Paul teamed up.

They found Seth.

The stuff they did to Seth, it's too much for a human's brain.

So if you are indeed a vampire, unicorn, pixie, wolf, witch, my mother, an alien, my brother (that is the same thing, by the way), a garden gnome, a fairy, a fluffy dog, a teacher, a Greek god, Percy Jackson, Harry Potter, a plant, a insect, a sim, a lemon, someone who enjoys eating broccoli, someone who can breathe underwater (see Percy Jackson), a laptop (hello laptop! Shhh… it's our little secret) an elephant (and if so, you can read? HOW! Don't review because it'll look like this "tfjmlcdtbhjjse gyood great") excetera, excetera…. Use your imagination….

Seth called Carlisle.

Carlisle fixed him, that's not normal.

By the way, Carlisle didn't actually "fix" him, you pervert.

Seth will be typing again soon, hopefully, when he's fingers has healed properly, after they have been reattached, and that will be soon, it's a wolf thing.

Paul has nightmares about Seth and him snuggling, and is too afraid to sleep in his bed…..that's weird.

Jacob is spending more time with Bella, trying to convince her to leave Edward, news flash not gonna work!

***To be continued, PLEASE REVIEW! *gets on knee's BEGGING!* PLEASE!***


	3. Irritation and Throw in a Vampire

**Heya! I'm back, again. **** Hope you like this to!**

**Written by Seth…..**

***This is 3 days later, Seth is now fully healed…..wow***

I'm back! Wow my 3 days was crap, I had to deal with my sister, it was terrifying, she tried to make me soup, it didn't look like soup. *shudders*

Well I made this list and I'm set on it to proof to you that it works, because it does, really…

So lets start with the nearest but most dangerous of them al, my sister, the one who tried to kill me with rat soup!

Okay this is Seth reporting in, it's morning and we always have breakfast in mornings, so I figured way not try something out on the list this morning, o did I mention that it's morning? Anyway, here I go…

Morning sis!

Leah: Morning Moron!

Seth: Jeez. * Seth is now eating like a pig, when I say pig I'm mean a really fat unneat pig*

Leah: Seth!

Seth: *Talking with mouth full* Whot I'g eatinge pere, respektro thut.

Leah: Stop talking with your mouth full! It's disgusting!

Seth: * Swallows and drinks coffee and spills everywhere, even on Leah)

Leah: Seth! You IDIOT!

Seth: This is what I have to live with, my whole life….well not my whole life, just till I get out of school, YES! No Leah!

Leah: I'm glad you think your going to live, cause you're not, so you better count you last few min!

Seth: **RUN!**

Leah: chicken! *mumbles to self* Stupid brother…

Okay this is Seth, reporting in, again, I'm now far away from my house, and next on my list testing thing is Embry, wish me luck, PLEASE!

*At Embry's house* okay I'm here, taking deep breaths, thinking twice, or maybe more than twice, ok, ok, ok, I can do this! Yeah!

*Walks into Embry's house and Embry is watching TV and eating like always*

Embry: Can't you nock or call before you come here?

Seth: Nock? Call ? Come here?

Embry: yes

Seth: yes?

Embry: yes what?

Seth: yes what what?

Embry: what?

Seth: WHAT!

Embry: What, not this again! OUT SETH! OUT! *Pushes Seth out door and slams the door close*

See my list works, he he. Now let's go test the list out on Quil! *millions of evil ideas are going threw his head*

This is Seth reporting in, I'm about to go in to the house, here I go….

*Walks into Quil's house*

Quil: O hey Seth

Seth: *ignores Quil and gets a pack of Doritos and watches TV, acting like it's is own house….weird*

Quil: Seth! Helloooo… *waves in front of Seth's face*

Seth: *still ignoring Quil*

Quil: SETH!

Seth: *still ignoring Quil, poor Quil*

Quil: Fine if you won't talk I'll make you laugh. *dancing like a crazy monkey around the room and making pig sounds…..very weird*

Seth: *Still just sits there watching TV and eating Doritos, ignoring Quil*

Quil: SETH! *In Seth's face*

Seth: *still just sitting there, ignoring Quil*

Quil: Seth! Talk! Please!

Seth: *If you ever do this, repeat it a dozen times* Do you hear that?

Quil: what?

Seth: Never mind it's gone now. * goes back to ignoring Quil*

Quil: what? *confused*

Seth: * ignores him*

Quil: Seth!

Seth: *Still ignoring Quil*

Quil: Ugh! Seth!

Seth: Do you hear that?

Quil: What!

Seth: Never mind it's gone now.

Quil: Ugh! Get out of my house! You're starting to annoy me! Go! * Throws Seth out*

Success! Mmmmmm….what should I do now? I know! Let's go irritate Paul again! * Rubs hands together*

Seth: Hey Polly! *At Paul's house*

Paul: Go away Moron!

Seth: *ignores what Paul said* So Jacob and Bella, they don't really make a good couple now do they? * rubs chin in a thinking way*

Paul: Why are you asking me this, Idiot! And who cares about Jacob's "love life".

Seth: Um…yeah what you said, anyhoo…there's someone else hoe makes a good couple, do you want to know who? * grins widely*

Paul: Please tell me, the joy I will have when I know. (Very sarcastic)

Seth: Are you sure you want to know?

Paul: Yeah I'm dieing to know (really, really sarcastic)

Seth: You and Leah!

Paul: What!

Seth: I said you and my sister!

Paul: I heard what you said you MORON!

Seth: So you agree that you and Leah belongs together, it's totally alright with me bro…..

Paul: I do NOT like your sister! * Throws Seth out of door, and Seth land on he's butt and in the mud* MORON! *Slams door close and locks it*

Seth: Friendly much….* stands up and rubs butt, and mud off*

Now what should I do, everyone is pissed at me…..wait not everyone! Let's go visit my new friends the *pum pi dum pum* Cullen's!

*on the way to the Cullen's house*

Edward: Seth's coming.

Rosalie: Great! *sarcastic*

Emmett: Really! Cool!

Esme: I'll get the snacks out for him, you know how they can eat. *smiles and goes get snacks ready*

Seth: Heya!

Emmett: Hozit! *hi 5's Seth*

Edward: hello Seth.

Rosalie: shoe dog, shoe!

Esme: Behave Rose, here's some snacks *to Seth*

Seth: Ooo yummy, thanx. * takes the snacks and eats*

Rosalie: Disgusting. *shudders*

Seth: So guess what…

Emmett: You threw your teacher with tomato sauce, and singed in a rock band!

Seth: What? No…I irritated Jacob, Paul, Quil, Embry and my stupid sister, it was FUN!

Rosalie: Great now his here to irritate us…

Seth: Nope, sadly not…

Rosalie: Well you're irritating me!

Seth: That's a good thing.

Rosalie: O shut up dog!

Seth: So do anyone want to join me in total domination, well not really domination just to help me complete my list thing of how to irritate the everyone?

Edward: Love to, but I'm a little busy here. *Kisses Bella on forehead*

Emmett: I'll go!

Seth: AWESOME!

Emmett: Let's go to my study… *walks to study*

Seth: Wow awesome study!

Emmett: I know right!

*A normal study looks neat and with book selves and a desk, but not this study, there is a TV, x-box, mini fridge with absolutely nothing in it, a massive couth and papers laying everywhere, o and some underwear, socks and juice bottles.*

Emmett: So bro, who are we going to write about?

Seth: Um…..what about, no….um what about, no not him either…..do you have any ideas?

Emmett: Um…..what about….Edward!

Seth: Yes! Good one! * Hi 5's Emmett*

**This is a list of * prepare your self's* Edward!**

***Now the list is being written by Emmett and Seth…this is going to ROCK!***

Firstly every time he talks to you, think "Bla Bla Bla" the whole time.

Talk about the kiss Jacob planted on Bella….That was disgusting.

Think gross stuff when he's near…poor Edward.

Victoria is coming! O wait she's dead.

James is coming! O wait he's dead to.

Aro is freaky! What he is.

Mock him that Aro knows everything he ever did, mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha .

Mock him about his flat face, he he

*** Edward's list will continue in the next chapter, so PLEASE! REVIEW! PLEASE! ***


	4. A Whole Lot of Lists

**Hey! Hope you like this story to! Enjoy! **** And thanx to my best friend Rose, for helping and supporting me! You ROCK!**

**Written by Seth and Emmett…..**

**Emmett: Hey! We are back! Okay, we are going on with the stupid mind reader, Edward Anthony Mason Cullen.**

**Seth: Wow, is that his full name?**

**Emmett: Yeah, want to hear mine?**

**Seth: Sure…..**

**Emmett: Emmett Dale McCartney Cullen.**

**Seth: Wow, mine is Seth Clearwater.**

**Emmett: Wow, that's a long name!**

**Seth: um, okay…**

**Seth: Anywho, We're going on with Edwards list.**

Emmett: Tell him he needs a new style, and make sure you say it very loudly.

Seth: why?

Emmett: Because then Alice will hear, and she never pass up a chance to give someone a make over. And of course Edward will refuse, but then she'll give him the puppy dog eyes, but it wont work, and then she'll let the evil come out of her, and trust me you really don't want that! So then Edward will have to say yes or else….I'll rather not tell, it's not pretty. Anyway, last time she gave Carlisle a make over and he couldn't show his face in public for a full 2 weeks.

Seth: Poor Carlisle.

Emmett: Yeah…Okay, on with the list! Every time Bella comes to visit him at **our** house and he asks her do you want something to eat, say you'll make her something, and make her kidney or liver. Say its the catch of the day

Emmett: Tell Bella all his embarrassing moments, that most of them I caused, he he.

Emmett: Ask him "what ya doing" the hole time, and when he says "stop it" or something else that means he wants you to stop, and repeat the question in your head.

Seth: Talk about Jacob in a good way in front of him.

Emmett: Tell Bella how he killed a human once, and tell it in detail. Poor Bella…

Seth: When Edward goes to Bella's at night, go visit Bella to, then they'll never get there alone time.

Emmett: yeah that's a good one. *hi 5's Seth*

Emmett: Replace all he's shoes with sandals.

Emmett: Destroy there meadow! Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha…..

Seth: When he's talking to Jacob, and your with them, sing theme music that fits the moment in your head.

Emmett: Break his car! He loves cars! So just break it!

Seth: Let's make a list about the blond.

Emmett: Who? Rose…..okay, I have lots of things we can write about her. *Rubs hands evilly*

**Seth: Okay, this is a list about the crazy blond…**

**Emmett: My wife, Rosalie!**

Emmett: Take all her mirrors, and tie it to rocks, and then throw it to the bottom of the river.

Seth: Make blond jokes, when you're around her.

Emmett: Call her Rose butt in front of everyone at school.

Emmett: Stand on the table in the cafeteria, and sing ABBA song to her, and make it dramatic.

Emmett: When you want to do something romantic for her, take her to a restaurant, all restaurants foods is so disgusting! O wait, she's my wife! So I'll kil you if you even look at her! *calms down* he he sorry….

Seth: Come and visit a lot.

Emmett: When she's mad, she usely cooks for no one, so when she cooks do this "Ahhhh the stove is alive!" Pick her up and put her in the mud and tell her "don't worry it's allergic to mud".

Emmett: Break al her high heals! Warning, you may be dead for few minutes after she found out it was you.

Emmett: Iron her clothes with her straightener.

Emmett: Dry her clothes by using her hair dryer.

Emmett: Crash her car! And run!

Emmett: When the roof is down, lift your hand up, and it will punch a hole in the roof. And run!

Emmett: Throw her clothes into the mud, Make sure you know what your doing, he he

Emmett: Start a food fight in the school cafeteria…poor guys.

Seth: Why "poor guys?"

Emmett: Because the people that throws Rosalie with food will get _human _food in her hair and on her clothes….

Seth: O, poor guys..

Emmett: Moment of silence for them.

*silence*

Emmett: Sign her up for cheerleading.

Seth: Why?

Emmett: She hates to be all smiley and friendly, and I get to see her it that sweet outfit…

Seth: *Rolls eyes*

Emmett: Leave her in the same room as Bella, which would piss her off.

Emmett: Ask her to a movie, and then talk threw the movie! When it's a Romance, act like your crying and shout NO! don't leave her! Idiot! And al that emotional stuff! If it's a Comedy, don't ever stop laughing, and point to the screen now and then while laughing, o and make sure al the people in the movie can hear you. If it's a horror, scream like a little girl and run around in circles in front of the screen, and scream "DON'T GO IN THERE! YOU IDIOT! YOU WENT IN THERE! WHY! WHY!" if there is a scene like that in the movie, o and clutch on to her like a little kid.

Emmett: Tell her "is that you face, or did your throat throw up?" But trust me think more than twice before you tell her that.

Emmett: Chase her around with a lighter.

Seth: If you're a wolf throw your socks in her closet, make sure the socks reek of wolf.

Emmett: Once for our honeymoon, I rented a taxi to take us to our hotel, the school bathroom.

Seth: Really *holds laugh in*

Emmett: Yeah I thought it was romantic…

Seth: *Bursts out in very loud laughter and is rolling on floor*

Emmett: What?

Seth: You *gasp* need *gasp* some *gasp* romantic advice, bro! *Bursts out into laughter again*

Emmett: *folds hands and frowns at Seth*

Seth: *Still laughing uncontrollable*

Emmett: *Still frowning at Seth*

Seth: *stop laughing* Okay, I think I'm done. *Can't help it but to think about it again, and bursts out in laughter*

Emmett: It's not funny…. *frowns*

Seth: *stops laughing* O yes it is! *starts laughing again*

Emmett: *Still frowning and standing there with his arms folded*

Seth: *Between laughs* I can just picture the blonds face, when she founded out her honeymoon is in her school bathroom! *laughs*

Emmett: *still frowning*

Seth: Okay, Okay, I'm done laughing *takes deep breaths to calm down*

Emmett: Thank you….

Seth: Pleasure, he he.

Emmett: Let's make a list about someone else.

Seth: Okay, who?

Emmett: um…I don't know, want to go play X-box and come back later?

Seth: Sure! *They go down stairs to play X-box*

*Edward told Rosalie that Emmett and Seth made lists of them and now wants revenge*

Rosalie: *Sees them down stairs and goes to Emmett's study to type a little something of her own*

Rosalie: *Mumbles to self*think they can just type a list about me! And put it on the internet! Ugh!

**This is a list of what I would like to do to my stupid, idiot of a husband! Emmett!**

**Written by Rosalie…**

Firstly I would like to* in a nice voice* KILL HIM!

Bang his head on a bed of nails!

Feed him human food! O and I will force it down his throat!

DIE!

IDIOT!

But I probably wont hurt him that bad, but trust me I will get him for this!

**Now for that stupid, smelly DOG! This is a list of what I would very like to do to him! But of course I can't because of the stupid treaty!**

**Written by Rosalie…..**

Ripe his head off!

And feed it to the sharks!

Break his arms off!

And feed it to the lions! In Africa!

Break his legs off!

And feed it to the Tigers!

Now what to do with the rest of him, mmmm….

Okay, I'll have mercy with the rest of him, I'll throw it in to the coldest, darkest, deepest part of the ocean!

**Now that I got that out of my system, I'm going to relax, by doing my hair. *walks to her room, leaving the laptop***

Edward: Hey, well since Rosalie typed something, why not me to….but I think I'll get my revenge in another way, you just have to wait and see. *Rubs hands evilly together*

***Find out what Edward will do to get his revenge about the list, when the story continues. So PLEASE! PLEASE! REVIEW! I really would like to know what you think, so review! Or else Rosalie will find you...***


	5. The Ghost and the Evil Fish

**Hey! This is chapter 5! Wow, he he. Hope you like this to!**

**Written by Seth and Emmett…**

*Seth and Emmett are still playing X-box*

*The poor laptop, he's just sitting there, waiting for someone to come and type…..something!*

Author-* I'm now speaking to them…like on one of that shows were the writer or host speaks to the characters, he he* Seth, Emmett…..

Emmett: What! Who said that!

Seth: Said what?

Author: I said that.

Emmett: That! Who is that!

Seth: Emmett, I think you have a chost in your house *Clutches on to Emmett*

Emmett: MOMMY!

Seth: RUN!

Author: Idiots.

Seth: It's following us, and it's calling as idiots, run faster! *trips over a really small rock* Ow!

Emmett: Wait, *stops* is that you Rosalie? ARE YOU DEAD! NOOOOOOOOOOO! *Falls on knees*

Author: No idiots, I'm the writer, and you really need to get back to writing that list, or else. *mwa ha ha ha ha ha*

Seth: Don't listen to it! It's trying to trick us!

Author: *rolls eyes*

Emmett: DON'T EAT US! WE'LL DO ANYTHING! *begging on knee's*

Author: I'm not going to eat you….ewww! I'm, ugh! Just go right the dam list!

Seth: *whispers next to Emmett* We need to get out of here, get up slowly and run for you life….. NOW! *They run away for there "life's", but they are running in circles…wonder if they know (rubs chin in a thinking way)*

Author: That's it. *Writes that Seth and Emmett is stopping and turning around.*

Emmett: The chost is making us do stuff against our will!

Seth: I can't walk, my legs are dead!

Emmett: Mine to!

Author: Well….now that I'm controlling you, I may as well have a little fun. *Types that they are doing a cheerleading moves in mini skirts and singing "We, are stupid, we, we are stupid"

Emmett: Why are we in mini skirts!

Seth: Why are we doing back flips!

Emmett: Why…..We, are stupid, we, we are stupid!

Seth: Emm…..We, are stupid, we, we are stupid!

Author: *laughs evilly*

Seth and Emmett: We are stupid, we, we are stupid! *They can't stop singing that and doing weird girl cheerleading moves, in mini skirts, o and the skirts is baby pink with fluffy stuff!*

Author: *Calms down* Okay I had my fun, he he *Writes that they stop and is in normal clothes again* So do you believe me now?

Emmett: Yes, but don't make us do that in front of people!

Seth: Yes, Please don't do that to us!

*Mean while Edward has taken photo's of them "Cheerleading", he he*

Author: okay, **I **wont, he he. Now go write the list.

Seth: May I ask a question?

Author: Sure, go ahead.

Seth: Why did you give me a sister, and why should she be Leah of all people?

Author: I didn't, Stephanie Meyer did.

Emmett: But I thought you're the writer?

Author: Well yes, but only of this story.

Seth: So there's other story's? *confused*

Author: Yes, but….your confusing me!

Emmett: What? I'm confused.

Author: I just said I'm confused!

Seth: Who's confused? Wait now I'm confused!

Emmett: Your confused? I thought I was confused.

Seth: What?

Emmett: I'm confused!

Seth: um, What? I'm confused…..

Author: Stop being confused!

Emmett: What, are we confusing you?

Author: Yes!

Seth: Huh? I'm confused!

Emmett: Yeah, I'm confused to.

Seth and Emmett: We're confused!

Author: Ugh! Idiots. Just go on with your life's, and go on with the list! Bye!

Emmett: Hello, freaky person? Your still there?

*Silence*

Seth: I think it's gone.

Seth and Emmett: *waiting for the "chost" to come back*

Seth: Come on Emmett. It's gone.

Emmett: To my study! *points finger in air*

***They go to his study, to complete the al powerful list!***

Emmett: So who are we going to write about?

Seth: Um….

Emmett: What about my freaky sister, Alice?

Seth: Yeah! Good one!

***This is a list about Emmett's freaky sister, Alice!***

Emmett: Add a –ing at the back of every word you say to her, like for ensample, I did this once, and she threw me in the river, she may be small but she's really evil!

Emmett: Hiing Aliceing, howing areing youing doing?

Alice: What type of language are you speaking? *in a person that really annoyed voice*

Emmett: Englishing, whying?

Alice: what?

Emmett: Whating?

Alice: Emmett if you're trying to speak, then go and speak to a tree, or something so you can pretend its listening, cares and understands what you saying!

Emmett: Buting youing understanding meing, sising.

Alice: What?

Emmett: Okaying, Roseing anding Iing foughting againing.

Alice: Emmett! Stop talking like that!

Emmett: Talking likeing whating?

Alice: Ugh! Your giving me a headache!

Emmett: Whating aming Iing doing wrongeing?

Alice: That's it!

Emmett: After that she threw me into the river near our house, it was scary! I saw a fish! He looked at me and then swam away!

Seth: You where scared because a fish look at you?

Emmett: Yes! He looked evil!

Seth: okay then…

Emmett: Cut all her credit cards, and burn her money! That way she can't go shopping, mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Seth: Every time she want to look into future, stand very close to her, if you're a wolf, he he.

Emmett: At school, draw on her books and essays. And draw stuff like Barney or Pooh bear.

Emmett: Bother her when she and Jasper is having there so called "alone time".

Seth: Call her and do this "It's coming, we must hide, it's coming, IT'S COMING! *in a freaked out wisper*" and hang up then after 5 min, do it again.

Emmett: Tell Mike that Jasper and she broke up.

Seth: What will that do?

Emmett: Then Mike will go flirt with Alice, duh!

Seth: O okay…

Emmett: You don't know who Mike is, do you?

Seth: Nope not at all….

Emmett: Don't worry, he's just some annoying kid, no one important.

Seth: Okay then…

Emmett: Every time you play chess with her, make sure you bring a wolf with you, then she can't see what you're next move is.

Seth: Hey! We aren't pets, he he!

Emmett: Every time she drags you along to go shopping with her, and trust me she does that a lot, and she asks you if her butt looks big in this or how do I look, say stuff like "It looks huge" or "you look huge in that" or "EWWWW!" Or "it looks like someone pucked on you" stuff like that.

Emmett: Call someone, and use up all her free time that she has on her phone. Warning, you are going to talk for a week on the phone before the free times up.

Seth: Alice and Rosalie can be irritated the same way, so yeah.

Emmett: Want to test something out on Rosalie? *smiles*

Seth: Yeah!

***They are now going to test the list out…..this is going to be hilarious!***

*Emmett and Seth is now standing behind the wall, taking deep breaths and they pop there heads out to look at Rosalie, who is sitting on the couch in the living room reading*

Emmett: *Whispers to Seth* what are we going to do?

Seth: *Whispers* Hell if I know….

Emmett: *whispers* I got one, follow me. *Emmett leads them to his and Rosalie's room, and the room is full of mirrors, and it all belongs to Rosalie…..scary I know, he he*

Seth: What are we going to do?

Emmett: *Looks at mirrors evilly.*

Seth: O I see… *rubs hands evilly together* I'll go get the rocks *mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha*

Emmett: *Picks up all her mirrors and jumps out the window, he did that 20 times, and waits for Seth*

Seth: Is this okay? *Comes out of woods with a lot of rocks*

Emmett: Yeah there fine, now let's tie the mirrors to the rocks. *evils smile*

*They tie the mirrors to the rocks and throw them into the river.*

Seth: How long do you think it will take for her to find out?

Emmett: Wait for it, wait for it…

Rosalie: *From her room* EMMETT!

Seth: Should we run?

Emmett: Yes! RUN!

Rosalie: I'M GOING TO GET YOU TWO FOR THIS! MORONS! *screams that so hard that the birds in the tree's near the house flies away*

Seth: I don't want to die!

Emmett: Then run faster!

Seth: Fine….. *goes behind a really big bolder and, well yeah, and turns into a wolf, o and he's clothes is in his mouth…..ewwww!*

Emmett: RUN!

Rosalie: ugh! *Runs after them*

Seth: _Shit, she's on our tail! *_Emmett can't hear that*

Jared: _Seth?_

Seth: _Jared, _ _Help me!_

Jacob: _O go jump of a cliff Seth!_

Seth: _Jacob!_ _The blond is going to kill me!_

Jacob: _Really? Well then at least I don't have to kill you my self._

Jared: _he he, why is she going to kill you, bro?_

Seth: _Emmett_ _and I threw her mirrors in the river._

Jared: *laughs*

Rosalie: Emmett!

Emmett: Run Seth, run!

Seth: _I'm running, jeez!_

Rosalie: *Runs in front of them and they stop*

Seth:_ She found us! Help!_

Rosalie: O no your not getting away so easy! *Crabs Seth and Emmett by the ears, o and BTW Seth's still in wolf form*

Emmett: Rose butt!

Rosalie: Shut it!

Seth:_ Ow! Ow! Ouch! My ear!_

Jacob: _Seth, don't change back, I want to hear everything! *Evilly*_

Rosalie: *She dragged them on there ears to the river* Get my mirrors!

Seth: _I'm going to change, you guys are just going to mock me about this! _

Jacob: _AW! PARTY POOPER!_

Seth: *Gets out of Rosalie's grip, and goes to the back of a huge tree and changes*

Rosalie: Now get my mirrors!

Seth and Emmett: *Slumps a they walk to the river* Yes Rosalie. *In a bored sad voice*

Seth: You go first.

Emmett: No you go first

Seth: _You_ go first! *pokes Emmett*

Emmett: Did you just _poke_ me?

Seth: Yes I did! *Pokes Emmett again*

*Usually this turns into a fight, but not with this two, Emmett is taking this as a act of kindness….I know, weird.*

Emmett: Okay, I'll go first then. *smiles at Seth and jumps into river*

Rosalie: *Gives a deaf glare at Seth*

Seth: fine. *rolls eyes and jumps into river, by the way the river is deep, not to deep but it is deep, he he.*

*Emmett and Seth throws the mirrors out and as they swim to the last one, they see a fish, and Emmett points to the fish, because that's the fish he saw last time when Alice threw him in the river and Seth looks at the fish, and rolls his eyes but then the fish looks at them, and they swam for there life's and litterly ran out of the river running into the house with there hands in the air screaming "evil fish! Evil fish!"*

Rosalie: Morons! *Picks up her mirrors and runs to her room, repeating that 23 times, and then when she finally got all her mirrors back she looks at her self…freaky*

Emmett: *They are sitting in a corner in the house rocking back and fourth* See I told you, that fish is evil!

Seth: Sorry I didn't believe you bro. *Rocks back and fourth*

Emmett: Yeah, it's fine….

Seth: So what now….

Emmett: I don't know, but we keep away from that fish!

Seth: Yeah, wonder how late it is? *looks at the clock* Shit, I have to go, Sam's going to kill me if I'm late for my patrol.

Emmett: Bye see ya.

Seth: Bye! *runs off*

Emmett: *Looks at what direction Seth's running* Seth! Go that way! *points to the opposite direction*

Seth: Why!

Emmett: The Fish is that way!

Seth: O yeah, thanx bro! *runs to La Push in the other direction, he he*

*** To be continued, and thank you for reading! And please review! I would like to know what you think, so please! Thank you! ***


	6. Revenge, Tutu's and a Hospital

**Hey! I'm back, I still can't believe I'm at chapter 6, he he.**

**Thank you to everyone that reviewed and read this story! **

**Please review if you read this, because I only got 11 reviews out of 587 people who read this.**

**And I would like to know if you like this to, so please! I'm really begging!**

**He he, no really, review, please!**

**PLEASE! PLEASE!**

**Okay, so Seth went home, and did his shift of patrol. While Emmett…I think I would rather not tell. *clears throat* So I'm going on and I really hope you like this! Enjoy!**

*Seth is now being waked up by his mother for school, poor Seth, he only had 1 hour of sleep.*

Ugh, do I really have to go to school mom? *rubbing his eyes and yawning*

His mother Sue: Yes, you missed a lot of work and now you need to catch up, now get dressed. *Walks out to Leah's room*

Why me! *Seth is now getting something out to wear to school, and he's still little asleep, so be warned, the clothes he might get out, might be appropriate to wear to school. *

*After he got dressed he joined his sister and mother for breakfast, yummy*

Leah: Morning moron!

Seth: *Sticks tong out to Leah*

Sue: Now behave, and eat you breakfast.

Seth: *Eating like a pig again, to annoy Leah*

Leah: Mom he's being a pig again!

Sue: Seth, eat neatly!

Seth: *Rolls eyes at Leah*

*After they had breakfast, Seth and Leah is on there way to school*

Seth: So sis…..

Leah: Would you stop talking!

Seth: Jeez, fine!

*Seth and Leah arrived at school going different ways.*

*As Seth went into the school cafeteria, everyone was clapping hands and laughing at him and some kids was pointing, he he*

What the hell.

Embry: *Comes out of no where and puts his arm around Seth laughing* Nice tutu bro. *laughs*

Seth: What are you talking about? *confused*

Embry: This…. *points to a photo of him and Emmett and Seth doing cheerleading moves in mini skirts, with pink fluffy stuff, and the photo's is everywhere!* And that…. *points to the TV in the cafeteria, with a video of Seth and Emmett doing Cheerleading moves singing " We are stupid, we, we are stupid!"*

Jacob: Maybe you should sign up for cheerleading bro! *punches a very shocked Seth on the shoulder and is laughing*

Seth: *Just standing there like a frozen person, very embarrassed and shocked*

Girl from the cheerleading team: So Seth, *trying not to laugh* the try outs are next week. *winks at him and walks away laughing*

Seth: My life is a over. *still staring at the TV and the pictures of him cheerleading in a pink fluffy mini skirt, o and on some of the pictures, where they did back flips, his underwear is sticking out, and it's a spider man underwear, poor Seth*

Paul: Morning princess! *Slaps Seth behind the head and walks away laughing extremely hard*

Seth: Who did this? *Still shocked*

Collin and Brady: *Clears there thoughts*

Seth: You two!

Collin: O no, we simply just helped E…..

Brady: Don't split on him. *Elbows Collin*

Collin: O yeah, sorry. *Zips his lips close*

Seth: Who is the master mind? *In Collin and Brady's face*

Brady: *Zips his lips also close*

Jacob: Who ever he is, he must give me a copy of that tape! *Laughs*

Quil: Wow, Seth, never thought you would be such a girl! *Laughs*

Seth: I'm not a girl!

Embry: sure you're not…

Seth: Thank you Embry.

Embry: You're a cheerleading girl! *Bursts out in laughter*

Seth: *Frowns*

***Mean while at Emmett's school.***

*Emmett and Rosalie just arrived with the Jeep and Edward and the rest to in the Volvo*

*Everyone at the school came to the parking lot to laugh and mock Emmett*

Mike: Hey bro, are you gay? *Put arm around Emmett and is laughing slightly*

Emmett: No why? And why do _you _want to now...*Confused, as always*

Edward: *Trying to hold his laugh in, like he's really trying!*

Mike: Um, well, let me show you. *Leads Emmett to the cafeteria, oh and he think his famous with al the people taking pictures of him and laughing and following him*

Emmett: Okay, this is cool. *smiles*

Mike: Um, yeah, okay. Taylor get the door!

*Taylor opens the door making trumpet sounds, and Emmett enters with few people video typing the video playing on the TV and the other TV and taking pictures of the pictures posted on the walls*

Emmett: Holy CRAP!

Edward from outside: *Laughing hysterically*

Bella and Alice: *giggling*

Jasper: He just stared at it all for a sec, and then rusted out into laughter!*

Rosalie: *Really embarrassed but se also giggled*

Austin: Hey bro, nice mini skirt, is it your girlfriends? *wiggles eye brows*

Emmett: What? No! wait, who did this!

Edward: *Laughs*

Mike: Beats me, but it's hilarious!

Captain from cheerleading team: So Emmett, you can join if you want? *Flirty*

Rosalie: *Glares at the girl*

Emmett: NO!

Cheerleading captain: Okay, fine. Oh and nice skirt! *Walks away laughing*

Emmett: Ugh! *Ripping the posters of the walls*

Edward: Aw, C'mon Emmett, you look so cute. *Bursts out in laughter again*

Emmett: I do not look cute!

Jessica: So Emmett, going for the try outs? *Holds laugh in*

Lauren: Yeah, you should wear your mini skirt again! *They walk away taking pictures of his butt sticking out on some of the pictures and laughing.*

Emmett: *Rubs his temples*

Rosalie: Don't worry Emi, it's not that bad…okay it is way past bad, but you still got us. *They look at the others and thay all are laughing hysterically* Um, or not.

Emmett: *Hugs Rosalie and making crying sounds*

Rosalie: *Little bit, no... a lot embarrassed.* Um, Emmett, dear. *Rolls eyes at Emmett* Don't um, cry. *Pats him on back like a mother does to cheer her child up. And everyone has taken a picture of that too.*

***During all of his classes no one could stop laughing at Emmett and some of the kids even took a poster home, poor Emmett, he he. Seth had a tough day also, everyone couldn't stop laughing and mocking him and he's got the feeling that it it will never stop.***

**After school at the Cullen's house….**

Emmett: Wonder who did that. *Angry and sad voice*

Alice: Who ever he is, is a genius!

Edward: Thank you, sis. *Covers mouth*

*Everyone looks at Edward*

Bella: You did that? *Shocked*

Alice: Well did you Edward?

Edward: Um, yeah.

Emmett: What! Why?

Edward: Because of the list, it's my revenge, he he.

*At first everyone was shocked and angry at Edward but when he said it was because of the list they published on the internet, they all where at Edward's side.*

Alice: O yeah, the list! *Glares at Emmett*

Emmett: *Sees that everyone is glaring at him and just smiles*

Alice: Thank you Edward.

Rosalie: Yeah, thanx.

Jasper: Thank you.

*After everyone said thank you they threw Emmett into the river, again*

Emmett: *Runs out river screaming* EVIL FISH! EVIL FISH!

*Emmett was running on his way to the hospital, soaking wet. And then Seth and Emmett ran into each other, while Emmett just stood there Seth was flying into a tree.* Oops!

Seth: Ow! That hurt, that really hurt! *Stands up in a bending poison and straiten him self up, o and he's back just made a old person cracking sound* Ouch!

Emmett: sorry bro.

Seth: Don't worry, Im fine.

Emmett and Seth: Anyway, you wouldn't believe….

Emmett and Seth: You go…

Emmett and Seth: No you go…

Seth: You go first!

Emmett: Okay, no need to shout! Anyway, Edward posted wall papers on our cafeteria walls and he made a video!

Seth: That happened to me to! Collin and Brady probably helped Edward with posting it up by my school. Shit, how could Edward do that to us?

Emmett: It was his stupid way of getting revenge, for the lists we made.

Seth: O, that make sense…..

Emmett: It kind of do….Anyway! They threw me into the river again! And I saw it….

Emmett and Seth: THE FISH!

Emmett: We must go tell my dad, he'll know what to do about the fish, and later about Edward!

Seth: Okay, let's go!

*They run to the hospital and when they got there Emmett picked Seth up and Seth was totally confused.*

Emmett: 911! We got a emergency! I need to see my dad!

Nurse: Good morning sir, what's the problem?

Emmett: This boy is badly hurt! *Preferring to Seth, witch he's holding*

Seth: *Folds arms* No I'm not! Now put me down!

Emmett: Way to sell in, bro! *Throws Seth to the left*

Seth: OW! What did you do that for! *Rubing the back of his neck*

Nurse: *Shocked and goes to help Seth up* Are you okay. Dear?

Seth: Yeah, I'm fine, thank you. *Glares at Emmett*

Emmett: Yeah, yeah, I need to see my dad, NOW! *Shakes the nurse by shoulders*

Nurse: *Scared* Um, I'll go see if his busy. *Walks very fast away from Emmett*

Seth: So what now?

Emmett: *After 30 senconds* I CAN'T WAIT ANY LONGER!

Seth: Okay then…

Emmett: *Running like a crazy person to his dads office*

Nurse: *Knocks on Carlisle's office door*

Carlisle: Come in. * Sees it's the nurse and she closes the door behind her* What can I do for you. *Friendly and with a smile*

Nurse: Your son is….. *While the nurse was speaking Emmett bursted into the office pushing the nurse away with the door and she fell on the floor.* here. *She said, as she lied the on the floor, kind of in pain, he he*

Emmett: DAD! THERE'S A EVIL FISH IN THE RIVER!

Carlisle: Emmett, I don't have time for this! *Stands up and walks past the poor nurse lying there on the floor, and out the door on his way to do surgery*

Emmett: No daddy wait! *Slams the door close, leaving the poor nurse there. And runs to walk next to Carlisle* It's evil, I tell you, IT'S EVIL!

Carlisle: Emmett, go talk to Esme about this, I really don't have the time. *Walks into the ER*

Emmett: *Following Carlisle* But dad! It's….

Carlisle: Emmett! I said I don't have time for this! And this isn't a good place for you to be, you never know when you just might, snap!

Emmett: Dad! I don't care! There's a evil…

Other nurse: Doctor where ready for you. *Walks into the surgery room*

Carlisle: Emmett, go home, relax, and I'll talk to you when I come home, okay.

Emmett: Yes daddy. *Pouts as Carlisle walks into the surgery room* Wait I'll wait for him, till he's done. *Walks into that room above the surgery room where you can watch, and waves to Carlisle*

Carlisle: *Rolles eyes* Take over for me Judy, I'll be right back. *Walks out of surgery room up to the room where Emmett is.* What are you doing here! I told you to go home! This is dangerous for you to be here!

Emmett: But daddy!

**Find out in chapter 7 what will Carlisle do? What will Emmett do? *Rubs chin in a thinking way* **

**Please review! Please! Please! I'm not going on if I don't get reviews! So review! **

**Thank you!**

**Love , Valerie aka IHateCakesWithPinkFrosting.**


	7. Hospital, cookie's and pink, lots of it!

**Hey! This chapter is dedicated to my BFF Rose, you rock! And thank you for the Doctor Who vacation, it was AWESOME!**

**So it's 17:52 in South Africa, and I'm typing on a small and very cute netbook, he he.**

**Mmmm…well let's begin with the story!**

**O, and please review! Please!**

_**Preface:**_

Seth and Emmett rock!

Emmett: Why did you type a preface?

Seth: Um…don't know….aw well.

_**Chapter 7! **____** !**_

Emmett: *Freezes the story* Why did you type that?

Seth: Um…don't know…aw well.

Emmett: Hey, Seth! See if you can see the word in this.

.;

Emmett: So?

Seth: Mmmm…I see banana, juice and Edward is gay.

Emmett: What! I didn't type that, all that you're supposed to see is, we rock.

Seth: Nah…I don't see it.

Emmett: O forget it… *grumpy face.*

Seth: So are we going on with…whatever you were doing?

Emmett: YES!

**Okay we are going on with the list/story!**

Carlisle: Emmett, go home…

Emmett: But dad! There's an EVIL FISH IN THE RIVER!

Carlisle: *Rubs temples as he walks out the room above the surgery room to continue the surgery.*

Emmett: *Sticks himself on to the widow and hits it in human strength and screams against the window" Dad!*

Carlisle: I'll be right back. *Goes back to the room above the surgery room, and all you see is Emmett being threw around the room, sliding down the window, with his saliva left behind on the window and all you hear is "Why won't you listen! Go home!" and then Carlisle comes back to the surgery room, with his shirt hanging out and his hair is standing like a person who just woke up, and his tie is loose.* Now where was I. *goes back to surgery.*

Nurse: *Shocked*

Emmett: ow! *Stands up and sticks his tong out to Carlisle and walks back to the lounge where Seth is drinking tea and eating cookie's.* O yeah you have a good time! *grumpily*

Seth: *Talking with his mouth full of kookies.* What? *innocently*

Emmett: *His shirt has a hole in it and he lost a shoe.* Let's just go…

Seth: *Swallows* What happened? *Tries not to laugh*

Emmett: *Frowns at Seth.*

Seth: Fine, fine I won't ask. *Laughs* Sorry I had to get that out. *Clears throat*

Emmett: *Frowns and walks out the hospital and the nurse just stares.*

Seth: Aw, I'm still busy with my cookie! *Silence from Emmett* fine! *Puts his cookie's and tee down at the counter in front of the nurse and walks out and comes back and takes another bite of the cookie.* thanx! *He said that, with his mouth full…ew.*

**Back at the Cullen's house…o.o, he he.**

Emmett: MOMMY! *From front door.*

Seth: *Holds his hears close.* Ow!

Emmett: What? *Happy voice.*

Seth: Do you have to scream so loud?

Emmett: yes…why?

Seth: You all have super hearing…*Emmett makes a confused face.* Ah, never mind.

Esme: What is it this time Emmett?

Emmett: *Babeling.* Dad threw me around room, and fish in river, Seth into the tree, weird and freaky nurse, blood, surgery, evil fish, EVIL FISH!

Esme: O that's nice. *Walks away awkwardly in human speed but rushes out room.*

Emmett: *Mouth is hanging open.*

Seth: Ooo…you got burned! *Snaps his finger as he says "burned" and laughs.*

Emmett: *Frowns and folds arms at Seth.*

Seth: What? *Inocently.*

Alice: Hi guys…*Looks at Emmett and shakes head.* Really, Emmett, don't you love the clothes I bought for you? *In a sad, kind voice.*

Emmett: Huh? *confused*

Alice: Why in the name of…um, me, are your clothes shredded? And where are you other shoe?

Seth: *Looks between Alice and Emmett and then looks at their faces, and starts to laugh histerically.*

Alice: *Glares at Seth.* WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING AT!

Seth: *Stops laughing and stands up strait.*Sorry, um…

Alice: Go on. *Folds arms.*

Seth: Um, sorry…miss. *Awkwardly*

Alice: Thank you. *Smiles and drags Emmett to his room and all Seth hears is Alice screaming "PUT SOMETHING NOT YOU ON, MORON!" and a door slamming clothes.*

Seth: Wow…aw well, now where are there Doritos… *Walks to the kitchen rubbing his chin."

Rosalie: *Walks into the house.* EW! Wet dog smell. *Plugs nose and walks to her and Emmett's room.*

Seth: *Mumbles to self.* Think I smell, you should smell yourself…

Rosalie: *From stairs.* Shut it, dog!

Seth: Bla bla bla…

Rosalie: Shut it!

Emmett: *From upstairs.* ROSE BUTT! *Very happy.*

Rosalie: Why are you wearing pink. Em?

Emmett: Alice replaced all my clothes with pink clothes and…

Rosalie: I don't want to know. *Holds hand up, to stop him from talking.*

Emmett: *Frowns.*

Rosalie: *Smiles and kisses Emmett and goes to look into her mirrors.*

Seth: MIRROR FREAK! *To Rosalie from down stairs.*

Rosalie: SHUT IT DOG!

Emmett: *Down stairs again.* So how do I look. *Asking that with a big frown.*

Seth: *Turns around and looks at Emmet who is wearing pink pants, and its skinny jeans, that are pink. And a pink puffy shirt, pink sneakers, a pink belt, to make it short, everything he's wearing is pink.* Um, you look gay! *Bursts out with extremely hard laughter.*

Emmett: *Frowns.*

Seth: *Catches his breath.* wow… go change, bro.

Emmett: I can't, this is the best I have.

Seth: *Gets out his phone.* This I have to see. *Runs to Emmett's room, and sees Rosalie and she screams at him to get out, but off course he ignores her and opens the closet and at the left side, all he sees is pink, fluffy clothes, and if you're wondering, the right is Rosalie's part of the closet, he he. And then he laughs again and takes a million pictures.*

Rosalie: *Mumbles to self.* Can't even get privacy in my own room! *Walks out room to Edward's study.*

Emmett: See, all the other clothes looks like, girly dresses and stuff that's girly.

Seth: *Stops laughing.* Try on some of the clothes and model a bit. *Laughs again.*

Emmett: Should I?

Seth: Yeah, go ahead. *Laughs.*

Emmett: Okay. *Smiles and put's on a pink fluffy prom dress.* Okay, take your pictures! *In a girly voice.*

Seth: *Laughs and takes pictures, while Emmett is "posing"…poor Emmett.*

Emmett: Nah…I don't like this. *Changes into the skinny jeans, that's pink, the sneakers and Shirt, that's fluffy.* Let's go shop for normal clothes! *Points finger in air.*

Seth: *Walks after Emmett and he's laughing, really hard, he he.*

**O.o, he he, Emmett going shopping, with Seth isn't a good combination, he he.**

**Find out what will happen in the next chapter, where Emmett of all vampires, and Seth of all wolfs, is going shopping.**

**Poor people in the shop, he he.**

**Hope you enjoyed it! **

**And if you have ideas of how to irritate people, that I haven't used yet, please review and tell me, cause I need more ways to irritate Jasper, Esme and Carlisle and the rest of the wolf pack.**

**So please review! It will help me a lot, he he.**

**And if you don't have ideas, and you liked this chapter, please review also.**

**PLEASE!**

**xox**


	8. Shopping, ice cream and Carlisle

**Hey! Sorry that I'm updating so late after my last update, but forgot or was too busy, he he.**

**I got awesome ideas from few of my friends Bermywolfgirl, xXxRosaliexXx and Didyme the happy one.**

**Thanx guys for the ideas and support, and thank you to everyone who reads my story and review.**

**Love you all! **

**Hope you like this chapter and please review!**

**(Okay Emmett and Seth are on their way to Seattle to go shopping, o.o.)**

Emmett: *Puts music on in his Jeep, and I'm a Barbie girl starts playing.* shit…*forwards the song*

Seth: *Laughs* You listen to the Barbie song?

Emmett: Um, no. *Looks like he's lying*

Seth: *Rewinds the song to the Barbie song and starts to sing along* I'm a Barbie girl!

Emmett: *Smiles and sings along to* In a Barbie world!

Seth and Emmett: My boobs are plastic! I'm fantastic! You can brash my hair, and take me everywhere!

*And so they sing it over and over again all the way to Seattle.*

*Just drove into Seattle and stops at a stopping sign and there is a car full of girls next to them and their windows are down and they are singing the Barbie song for the 124th time.*

Car full of girls: *Looks at them in a, does guys are crazy way.*

One of the girls: I think they are gay, look the one wearing pink is probably the "woman" and the other one the "man" *they all look*

One of the other girls: Why do gay guys always look hot!

Emmett: *Looks over at them* shit! *turns music off and smiles at them*

One of the girls: *Smiles back*

One of the other girls: *Almost fainted*

Emmett: I still got it, even when I'm wearing pink! *drives off*

Seth: Yeah, keep thinking that. *rolls eyes at Emmett*

Emmett: so where should we go shop? *looks around*

Seth: What about over there! *points to a shop with pink tutu's and starts to laugh*

Emmett: Not funny! *drives faster to get away from that shop*

Seth: What about that shop.

Emmett: I'm not falling for that again. *keeps his eyes on the road*

Seth: But that's a cool shop. *points to a shop with awesome clothes*

Emmett: *looks and smiles and stops in front of shop.* C'mon. *climbs out*

Seth: *follows Emmett*

Emmett: *Enters shop and all the girls turns to him and Seth and smiles and checks them out.*

Seth: *gets an idea, an evil idea.*

Emmett: *smiles and goes to the side of the shop where the boy clothes is.*

Seth: *follows Emmett* Hey bro, want to have fun? *smiles*

Emmett: *turns to Seth and smiles* sure…

Seth: Okay, let's dare each other to do crazy stuff.

Emmett: Okay but then I dare first!

Seth: Okay, bring it!

Emmett: Okay you have to kiss every girl and woman in this shop, even if they are with their boyfriends. *smiles evilly*

Seth: *Looks around at all the girls and sees there is two girls with their boyfriends and one very old lady.* um, do I have to kiss on the mouth? *frowns*

Emmett: *Thinks* nah, you can choose where you want to kiss them. *smiles*

Seth: *clears throat* okay, here I go. *Walks to this hot girl at the underwear department.* Um, hey. *smiles*

Girl: *Looks at Seth and smiles* Hey. * Goes back to looking through the underwear, stepping to the side, away from Seth.*

Seth: *Takes a deep breath and walk closer to the girl and kisses her the cheek and runs to the next girl* Hey. *Kisses her on the cheek and runs to the next girl* hello *Smiles and kisses her on hand and runs to the next girl* Hi. *Kisses her on the cheek and runs to the old lady.* Hello ma'am. *Kisses her on the cheek and she almost gets an heart attack, and he runs to the second last girl, who has her boyfriend next to her.* Hello. *Kisses her on cheek and smiles and runs*

The boyfriend: *Fuming and runs after Seth*

Seth: *Runs to the last girl who also has her boyfriend with her.* Heya. *Kisses her on cheek and runs*

The other boyfriend: Who the hell was that!

The girl: I really don't know babe.

The other boyfriend: Well he's going to die! * Runs after Seth, and he's not alone, the other guy is also after him and few of the girls*

Seth: *stops at counter where Emmett is baying clothes* done. *smiles proudly, and has no idea that the guys and girls is after him.*

Emmett: *turns around looks at Seth and the people behind him* Um, bro…I think you should run! *looks behind Seth at the other people*

Seth: *slowly turns around and screams when he sees the two muscular guys and the fuming two girls that he kisses first.* Help…*soft squeaky voice and runs for his life.*

*The two guys and girls run after him.*

Emmett: *laughs as he follows but he's walking, he he. No rush.* O this is priceless! *laughs as he walks *

Seth: Ahhhhhh! Help me! *runs for his life jumps over a trash can and goes through an alley and jumps over the fence.*

One of the guys: Jeez what is this guy! *still running after him and they jumps over the fence, but struggles*

Girls: *stops at the fence, too scared to chip a nail, and turns around and walks back with their noses in the air.*

Emmett: *Walks past girls and smiles*Hi lady's. *Jumps over fence while his holding his shopping bags. O and his still in the pink clothes, he he.*

Seth: *Jumps over a lady who was picking up her cell phone that fell. And looks over he's shoulder to see if the guys is still following him.* Shit! *runs faster when he sees the guys is still following him.*

Guys: *runs past the lady getting tierd.*

Seth: _Wait a minute, why am I afraid, I'm so much stronger and faster than them! _*Gets an evil plan. And stops and the guys runs past him and runs back.*

Guy: *out of breath* Your…dead…

Other guy: *also out of breath* Yeah…little man! *pokes Seth*

Seth: *smiles* Um, I don't think so, he he.*

Guy: O his a smart ass!

Other guy: Maybe we should point out the facts. *smiles crashing his knuckles*

Emmett: *sigh* Heya Seth. *Goes to stand next to him and smiles* whats up?

Guy: O look he has a girlfriend. *laughs at Emmett, who is still in the pink clothes*

Emmett: Nah, I have a girlfriend, who honestly, doesn't come close to any other girl. *smiles*

Other guy: Well, is a retard then. *Both guys laughs*

Emmett: What. Did. You. Just . say. *getting angry, and that doesn't happen a lot with Emmett, he he.*

Guy: He said she must be a retard if she's going out with you. *Both guys laugh*

Seth: *looks at Emmett and they nod at each other.*

Emmett: *picks the one guy up by his shirt and throws him in the trash.* Who's the retard now.

Other guy: *shocked at what Emmett did, but looks at Seth and laughs* What are you going to do to me, little man!

Seth: this. *picks him up by his shirt and throws him in trash too. And laughs*

Emmett: *laughs and closes the trash can and walks away, followed by Seth, who is also laughing.*

Seth: That was fun! Now for you dare….but first let's finds a shop. *looks around*

Emmett: What about that one. *points to an all man clothing store.*

Seth: Yeah, that's perfect! *they walk into the store, and most of the guys looks at Emmett and laughs softly.*

Emmett: *frowns and goes to the jeans secsion.* So what's my dare?

Seth: mmmm…*thinking*….you have to purpose to…that guy. *points to a guy that looks like a gangster with a beard and many tattoo's.*

Emmett: *swallows* are you serious…

Seth: I'm dead serious. *smiles evilly*

Emmett: um…

Seth: Are you chicken? *mocking Emmett*

Emmett: *straitens up and takes a deep breath* I'm no chicken! *walks over to the guy and takes his hand* My dear, sweet, sugar pie. Will you marry me? *smiles*

The guy: WTH! *Punches Emmett in face and Emmett pretend to be hurt.*

Emmett: You broke my nose! *holds nose close* I don't love you anymore! *Walks out store, pretending to cry.*

Seth: *Recorded everything, he he. And goes to bay some clothes for Emmett.*

Emmett: *sitting on a park bench, waiting for Seth.*

Seth: *comes out store and doesn't see Emmett anywhere and decides to go get ice cream.*

Emmett: * bought a newspaper, and pretends he is reading it….weird.*

Seth: *finds Emmett and is eating a triple scoop ice cream and is holding two bags of clothes.*

Emmett: What's the other bag for?

Seth: I needed new sneakers, shorts and a T-shirt. *holds up bag.*

Emmett: O….

Seth: yeah….*likes his ice cream*

Emmett: gay baby!

Seth: what?

Emmett: Every time there is an awkward silence, a gay baby is born. *smiles*

Seth: um, okay then…

Emmett: yeah!

Seth: *likes ice cream and it falls to the ground.* aw man!

Emmett: *frowns at ice cream* bad ice cream! Bad ice cream! *scolding at the ice cream*

Seth: Let's just go home. *frowns and walks to the car.*

Emmett: *smiles and stands up and follows Seth and gets in and drives off.*

Seth: *puts music on and Barbie plays again.* ugh! *sigh a frustrated sigh and forward and the Barney song plays.*

Emmett: *Looks at Seth and they bought smiles and start to sing a long, and so they singed it over and over again all the way back.*

Seth: *Half way to Forks* Listen to this! *clears throat* I hate you! You hate me! Let's be friends and kill Barney! With a baseball bat and a 4x4! Braney is a stupid dinosaur!

Emmett: That. Was. The. Best. Song. EVER! *Almost crashes* shit! *Drives strait again.*

*back at the Cullen's house.*

Emmett: ah! Home! *falls on ground and kisses the floor.*

Seth: ew!

Emmett: *runs upstairs changes into normal, boy clothes and is back in a sec.*

Seth: Wow that was fast. *just walked into the house.*

Emmett: He he, guess what! *jumping up and down of excitement*

Seth: What! *excited*

Emmett: Let's make a list about my "dad", Carlisle. *smiles evilly*

Seth: Um, why Carlisle? *confused*

Emmett: Revenge! Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Seth: Okay then….*totally confused!* let's go then! *points finger in air and runs up stairs to Emmett's "study" *

Emmett: *turns on his lap top and just a sec went bay.* WHY IS THIS THING TAKING SO LONG!

Seth: *drinks a bottle of orange juice* um, huh?

Emmett: Finally! *The lap top is on.*

Seth: Yippy! *Throws empty bottle on floor.*

**This is a list of how to irritate the evil Doctor Carlisle Cullen! **

**Seth: He's not evil.**

**Emmett: O like you would know! *Evil funny voice pointing finger in Seth's face.***

**Seth: ah huh…*nods head***

**Emmett: okay on with the list! *points finger in air***

Emmett: When Carlisle is trying to go through documents or think, go stand behind him while reading a childish book and mumble, and when he tries to talk, mumble harder.

Seth: Walk behind him and spray everything he touches with Lysol.

Emmett: That's a good one!

Seth: Yeah, my sister does that sometimes to me. *pouts*

Emmett: She's weird…

Seth: no she's just normal.

Emmett: Yeah, normal people freak me out. *shudders*

Seth: *shudders along.*

Emmett: okay back to the list! *points finger in air* Every time he says something, say "that's what you think" and say that after every sentence he says.

Emmett: Every time he scowls at you or just talk to you, say "you only exist in my imagination."

Seth: When he's talking to you say, "Wait I wasn't paying attention, can you repeat that?" Do that over and over.

Emmett: Wire up his car, so he's horn comes on when he starts his car.

Seth: Replace all his doctor tools with toy tools.

Emmett: *laughs* That is an great idea!

Seth: Thanx, he he.

Emmett: Move his book mark 6 pages ahead when he isn't looking.

Emmett: Never give him and Esme alone time.

Emmett: Go bug him when he's at the hospital. Once I went in there screaming and when Carlisle came to see what was all the commotion about I screamed "Edward kicked me!" that was funny, because I was making a fuss about Edward hoe kicked me, and he never even kicked me! *smiles*

Seth: Dude, you need help…

Emmett: *smiley face* Replace all his classic/jazz, weird music stuff, with R&B or girly music.

Seth: Go and visit a lot, and ask him to make you something to eat every 5 min. That is if you're a wolf, or human, he he.

Emmett: Play with a knife around Bella. That won't just irritate Carlisle, but Edward as well!

Seth: Make vampire jokes around him.

Emmett: Every time he's trying to talk with you, ignore him flat!

Emmett: Play with the X-ray machine thingy. Once I took an X-ray of myself, and I don't have bones! I think…

Seth: Why do you only think, you don't have bones, when the picture shows you have no bones?

Emmett: Because I was behind the controls and I put a dummy of me made of box in my place.

Seth: ….Awesome! *hi 5's Emmett*

Seth: Act like your hurt and when he's checking you to see what the problem is, stand up and say, "I'm hungry" and go to the kitchen to get food.

Emmett: Act like you fighting in front of him, and when he is trying to short it out, start laughing and walk away, leaving him there all confused.

Emmett: Go sit on his copying machine, and make copies of your butt and post it all over his study.

Seth: And write BUTT on every picture.

Emmett: And smiley faces.

Emmett: Draw pictures of him sitting on the toilet or full of animal blood after he has hunted, on the back of his documents.

Emmett: Add at the back of every sentence he says, "according to the prophesy".

-**Hope you liked it!**

**Find out what will happen in the next chapter, what else are they going write about Carlisle? And of hoe will they make a list next?**

**PLEASE! PLEASE! Review! **

**And if you have some ideas I can use, please review or PM me them, please!**

**I need reviews!**

**PLEASE!**


	9. Carlisle, GPS and Canada

**Hey, I see I've made a lot of spelling and left out words, in my previous chapters, and I apologize for that, he he.**

**Well, chapter 9! Wow, can't believe it, he he. WOOP WOOP!**

**Warning: I might go a little crazy in this chapter, cause I'm home pretending to be sick, he he. But I'm actually fine! But little crazy cause now I have the house all to myself! Wippy! **

**And special thanx, to my Best Friend xXxRosaliexXx and my fanfic friends! You all rock! Thanx Ashleigh, Holly, Mary, Jade, Bermywofgirl (who is awesome! Check out her story "uhh ohhh Emmett", Its really funny!), Emmett's Twin, viheartsjasperandriley. And sorry if I forgot someone, he he.**

**For supporting me, and giving me lots of idea's! You rock!**

**And thanx to the people who reads my story, I hope you guys like it! **

**Please review! And thanx to everyone who reviews….o, and look past all my spelling and grammar mistakes, he he. **

**Enjoy! **** I'm listening to Crawl by Chris Brown now, that's why I feel I need to thank everyone! He he, thank you guys!**

**Continuing the list of Carlisle….**

Emmett: When his working in his study, take a pillow and go sit in front of his desk and meditate, to make it worse, dress like a hippy.

Seth: HIPPY'S ROCK!

Emmett: I know right!

Seth & Emmett: ahhhhhh! *jumping up and down*

Emmett: *refrains self* um, yeah….back to the list! *points finger in air and slowly retreats in down to press a button*…..*after 10 min* …..*after 15 min*…*after 22 min*

Seth: I can't take it anymore! *pushes Emmett's hand down, and presses the button.* Finally!

Emmett: you spoiled the big finale! *frowns*

Set: sorry man, but for a vampire, your pretty slow….

Emmett: *stands up* what! That's an insult!

Seth: *sigh* just sit down! *pulls Emmett down*

Emmett: *frowns at Seth and goes back to the list* When you help out at the hospital, and use the elevator, while Carlisle is in it, of course, press every button, and the one where he wants to go last….

Seth: Or, be like a GPS, and say…you may enter…you may push the button….you may stand still….you have arrived at you destination….turn two floors up….turn 5 floors down…..stuff like that.

Emmett: That's brilliant!

Seth: he he, and you can do it everywhere to, like…..you are now climbing stairs at a rate of 5 steps per 5 seconds…turn left…turn right…stop…stuff like that.

Emmett: That's bloody brilliant!

Seth: Thanx!

Emmett: Wanna go test the list?

Seth: YES! YES! YES!

Emmett: Let's do two…

Seth: What two?

Emmett: Mmmm…got it! *light bulb appears on his head*

Seth: Weird…*hits light bulb and it disappears*

Emmett: Anyway…I'll go do the GPS thing, distracting Carlisle, while you replace all his Doctor stuff, with toys!

Seth: That's brilliant!

Emmett: Let's go then! TO THE HOSPITAL! *points finger in air, and is on his way to the Jeep*

*They get in the Jeep, and are on their way to the hospital….*few min latter* parks and climbs out*

Seth: okay, you go in first and get your dad out of his office. *smiles evilly*

Emmett: right! *walks in*

Nurse: not you again! Ahhhh! *runs away*

Emmett: huh?...aw well, DADDY! *In the lounge and Carlisle's office is way on the other side*

Carlisle: *hears Emmett* what is it now *sigh's and stands up and walks to lounge* Emmett, stop screaming, let's go to my office, we can talk there.

Emmett: *looks out side and sees Seth and remembers the plan* no! Let's go to the Doctor's lounge instead.

Carlisle: *sigh* Fine, let's go.

Emmett: *thumbs up to Seth and follows Carlisle* you are walking strait, in a speed of someone that's in a hurry…*in GPS voice*

Carlisle: *stops and turns around* what?

Emmett: you stopped, walk strait… *GPS voice*

Carlisle: *shakes head and walks on*

Emmett: *GPS voice* Turn left….

Carlisle: *stops again* stop it Emmett… *walks into elevator*

Emmett: *follows, and stands behind Carlisle* you may press you destination in… *GPS voice*

Carlisle: *looks at Emmett and shakes head, ignoring Emmett and puts hand out to press the button*

Emmett: *in Vampire speed, presses all the buttons and the one he wanted to press last* you have chosen all the destinations.

Carlisle: Emmett! What is up with you, now?

Emmett: You may stand still…*GPS voice*

Carlisle: ugh! *stands with his back against the wall of the elevator, waiting for the door to open on the floor he wants, let's say it's the 3 floor*

*finally, when they come to floor 3, Emmett presses the emergency button and they are stuck, till he presses it again.*

Carlisle: *wants to press the button but Emmett is standing in front of it* Emmett, step aside…

Emmett: you are stuck… *GPS voice*

*mean while…..*

Seth: *gets bag of toys out car, and walks in.* hello. *to nurse*

Nurse: hey sweet boy, come back for more cookies?

Seth: no thank you just came here to give toys to the kids. *smiles*

Nurse: *smiles* how sweet of you, it's down that hall to the left, sweetie.

Seth: thank you. *smiles and walks to that hall and to the left and past the kids, and past the ER, to Carlisle's office…* (it's Funny, cause I don't know a hospital, he he, so excuse if I don't make sense sometimes) *looks around, and sees photo frames, lap top, Doctor tools, coat and flower pot, excetra.* Let's begin…*smiles evilly and replaces the flower pots with teddy bears, and the photos with Barbie dolls, and coat with a little rain coat of a 3 year old, and Doctor tools with toy tools, and lap top with a kids lap top, and the rest with small kids' stuff, and teddy bears.* okay, done! *calls Emmett*

Emmett: *presses button, and elevator goes open*

Carlisle: thank you! *walks out almost kissing the floor*

Emmett: you arrived at your destination…*GPS voice*

Carlisle: help me! *runs to one other Doctor, shaking him by shoulders*

Emmett: *picks up* hey

Seth: okay, I'm done...how's the GPS thing?

Emmett: its great! He's pleading another doctor to kill him. *laughs*

Seth: *laughs* okay, let's go and hide outside the hospital and see if he screams hard enough when he sees his office.

Emmett: Okay, meet you at the Jeep. *hangs up*

Seth: *hangs up, and walks out with the bag of Carlisle's stuff*

Nurse: didn't you find it, where the kids are? *smiles and looks at the bag, that's almost over flowing, but the zip is closed*

Seth: yeah, but they were all sleeping, I'll maybe come back tomorrow. *smiles*

Nurse: o okay, sweetie. *smiles and goes back to counter*

Seth: bye! *walks out and puts bag in Jeep and leans against the Jeep, waiting for Emmett*

Emmett: Bye Daddy! Thanx for the chat! *hugs Carlisle who is on knee's in front of a very scared other Doctor, and storms out lounge, down to the first floor, and walks past nurse.*

Nurse: *hiding under counter*

Emmett: hey man! *outside, with Seth, and gives him a Hi 5*

Seth: *hi 5's back* now we wait….

Carlisle: Is he really gone? *hiding behind sofa, in lounge*

Other, very scared Doctor: *nods and runs out room*

Carlisle: *takes a deep breath* *wipes forehead, and goes back to his office* *Enters office* WTH IS GOING ON! *So hard the birds near the hospital all fly away*

Emmett & Seth: *laughs, rolling on floor*

The patients: *all calls the nurse about the scream*

Nurse: *runs to the patients*

Other nurses: *also runs around, to attend to the patients, who most are curious.*

Carlisle: EMMETT! *Also very hard*

Emmett: shit! Get in! *climbs in Jeep and starts car and starts driving forgetting Seth*

Seth: Hey!

Emmett: *drives back and slows, and Seth jumps in and they are now on their way to Canada.*

Seth: why are we going to Canada? Why not a place more sunny? *confused, like only Seth would be*

Emmett: I'm still a vampire, so rain, snow, cloudy is the place for me! *drives really fast*

Seth: *opens window and sticks head out letting tongue hang out* this is fun!

Emmett: *laughs* you are like dogs. *laughs*

Seth: *ignores Emmett and keeps his tongue hanging out*

Emmett: *after a few min, they arrive at the airport* Okay, let's go get our tickets. *storms into airport*

Seth: *climbs out and follows Emmett* Hey, bro…why are you running, from, Carlisle?

Emmett: *gets an flash back, and shudders* I have my reasons…

Seth: And the reason is?

Emmett: *frowns* He once tied me to a tree, and set it on fire.

Seth: really? *shocked*

Emmett: yes! He threw a toy that had fire made out of plastic at me!

Seth: he set you on fire by using plastic fire? *holds laugh in*

Emmett: yes, it was my fav toy. *pouts*

Seth: okay, so you irritated him, by…

Emmett: poking him with the plastic fire.

Seth: And he tied you to a tree…

Emmett: In England…

Seth: *holds laugh in* and poked you with the plastic fire…

Emmett: more times that I poked him! And I was tied to a tree!

Seth: And now we are running from him, cause…

Emmett: he'll do it again! Maybe he'll even throw us in the river again! With the FISH!

Seth: The Fish! Awww! Get those tickets now! *pushes Emmett to the ticket counter*

Emmett: Two tickets for the snowiest place in Canada!

Lady at counter: *frowns and steps back, because Emmett just spit on her, while screaming on her* here you go sir. *slides tickets really carefully to Emmett*

Seth: Let's get on that plane! *runs to the ticket taking man* here, take it, I'm in a hurry! *screaming*

Emmett: yeah, hurry! Hurry! *screams*

Ticket person: *scared and takes tickets not even checking their passports or ID'S or if they have guns.*

Seth: *takes his seat* The fish, the fish, can't, CAN'T! *rocks back and forth*

Flight attendant: Is everything okay sir? *to Seth*

Seth: leave me alone! *goes back to rocking back and forth*

Emmett:*takes his seat, sucking his thumb*

Flight attendant: okay then… *walks to another passenger*

*they sat like that mumbling, "the fish, can't, CAN'T!" the whole time, all the way to Canada*

Emmett: *gets out plane falling on ground kissing it!* land! Cold! Snow! No Carlisle!

Seth: THE FISH! IT'S GONE! *Runs out and puts hands in air spinning around, laughing of joy*

People at airport: *stays far away from them*

Emmett: well, we don't have a home, clothes, food for you….shit! what about food for me?

Seth: um, bro. *points to a forest next to the airport*

Emmett: O….Well, lucky for us, I have this! *pulls out a wallet with 5 credit cards and 5000 $ cash.*

Seth: *shocked* we can bay Canada with that!

Emmett: *smiles*no, but we can go stay in a fancy hotel, in the president sweet, and make a lot of trouble!

Seth: *rubs hands together evilly* let's go bay stuff! *everyone looks at them like they're crazy, because Seth is in shorts and a T-shirt, and Emmett, in a jean and a T-shirt, and it's snowing*

Emmett: let's go! *point's finger in air as they walk threw a little snow to the airports inside*

Seth: *as he walks on snow, it melts*

Emmett: *bursts into airport* Somebody call a limo!

Seth: yeah, we are rich! IN YOU'RE FACES! *points to everyone*

Emmett: don't overdo it bro, he he.

Seth: he he, sorry man.

Person at the counter: Would you like a 5 star limo, sir?

Emmett: yes! *smiles*

Person at counter: It will arrive shortly, you may take a seat. *smiles*

Emmett & Seth: *takes a seat, after a few min, the limo arrived*

Seth: This is going to be so cool! *stands up and walk to limo, thinking a lot about himself, he he.*

**He he, Canada…well there can be a lot to do there…I think, so I'm maybe going to let my imagination roam a bit it the next Chapter.**

**Hope this was funny, and fun to read, let me know, if you have any ideas, please!**

**Hope you'll review! Please! I like getting reviews….so review! **

**Or I'm sending the fish after you! **

**So review! **

**Yes! That button there….no not there, there…yes the one saying, review this chapter.**

**Thanks!**


	10. limo, Danali Coven, and fear of the fish

**Heya! **

**Sorry guys that I haven't updated in a very, VERY long time, but was busy, lazy, and had writers block…he he, well I'm backy wacky! **

**So I want to say BIG thanks to EVERYONE that review, reads, and supports my story! YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST!**

**Thanks IggyAteMySandwich and xXxSlytherinQueenxXx for your idea's, and Alexwhitlock and e3v2a00 for reviewing in my last chapter.**

**Thanks to my two BEST friends Rochelle and Rose for helping me sometimes and always reading all my stories! **

**Well, hope ALL you guys enjoys my story! And thanks for reading it! LOVE YA'S! **

**PLEASE! Please, review! I LOVE it when people review…so REVIEW! !**

**Emmett and Seth in the limo…o.o**

Emmett: This is AWESOME! Carlisle never let us do all this stuff with our money, cause he thinks we will get to full of our self's. * after a sec or two of silence they bursts out in laughter*

Seth: *laughing*

Emmett: *suddenly stops laughing* wait a sec…

Seth: What? *looks worriedly curious*

Emmett: Why go to a hotel…when we can go visit the Danali Coven! YES! *Smiles evilly and excitedly* Driver! Drop us off at the rich hidden houses near the woods.

Driver: um…where's that exactly sir? *confused, cause there's woods everywhere, and houses in the woods everywhere.*

Emmett: How should I now, just drop us off. *lays back, with eyes closed*

Seth: yeah…what he said. *stuffing his face with the food in the limo*

Driver: yes…sir. *still confused, but just goes to one of the places around there.*

Seth: *peeks head out that opening in the roof* wooooop wooop! This is sooooooo AWESOME! *sticks tongue out again*

Emmett: *Joins Seth* dude, do you have to stick your tongue out?

Seth: yes! *sees people driving by in a red sports car* you LOSERS! *Sticks tongue out to them*

Emmett: what was that for? *confused*

Seth: we are richer than them…

Emmett: um…*still clueless*

Seth: They still drive them self's, we have someone to do it for us. *smiles proudly*

Emmett: oooo, AWESOME! Great thinking man! *HI 5's Seth*

Driver: Sir, is this the place you wanted to be?

Emmett: *sniffs the air* yup, this is it alright…we'll walk from here, thanks! *hands the driver 100 $*

Driver: *stares at the money like he can't believe it*

Emmett: C'mon Seth! Wait till you meet the Danli's! *"walking" but it looks more like running, up to where the Danli's sent comes from*

Seth: *carrying all the bags* Emmett, you can help you know!

Emmett: o right! *walks over at takes his bag* sorry man. *smiles and walks on*

Seth: *rolls eyes and follows*

**At the Danli's house…**

Emmett: *knocks on door*

Seth: *sits down on the steps* I'm hungry!

Emmett: *ignores Seth and knocks again*

Kate: Emmett? *opens door* what are you…*smells Seth* ew! What's that smell! *plugs nose*

Emmett: Kate! *hugs her* ow! *gets shocked* stop doing that! *rubs his arm*

Seth: *Stands up* hi, do you have any food…human, food? *cute smile*

Carmen: *Next to Kate in a sec* Emmett? What are you…*smells Seth* aw! Ew! The dogs again! Really? *plugs nose*

Seth: Hey! *frowns and folds arms*

Emmett: Car! *hugs Carmen*

Carmen: yeah, hi Emmett. *pats him on back*

Kate: What are you *glances at Seth and frowns* doing here?

Seth: Looking for food! Now do you have some?

Carmen: *went to get a hotdog in a sec and pops it in Seth's mouth* there, happy now? *folds arms*

Seth: very! *with mouth full and eats it*

Kate: So? *to Emmett*

Emmett: well, it's a long story…*rubs back of his neck*

Carmen: we have time…

Emmett: Well…Carlisle is trying to kill us! And we came to Canada and he wants to kill us with the FISH! AHHHHHH! THE FISH! *He and Seth runs in circles in panic and screams*

Kate: Em….Emme…Do…STOP IT!

*Emmett and Seth stops in shock*

Eleazar: *out hunting nearby, and hears Kate and rushes home* What's going on? *in panic in front of Carmen holding her hands, worried*

Kate: *calms down* nothing, just that Emmett and the dog is here…*looks at them*

Emmett: *mouth open, leg in air, hands like claws in air* hi

Seth: *standing the same way as Emmett* hi…*falls over, on his butt*

Emmett: *laughs and points at Seth*

Seth: Hey! Not funny! *folds arms, still sitting on ground*

Carmen: *rolls eyes at them*

Eleazar: *smiles, kisses Carmen lightly and goes over to Emmett* Hey man! Long time, no see. *hi 5's Emmett.*

Emmett: hey, yeah…it's been like forever! *girlish*

Eleazar: um, yeah…man. *awkwardly*

Irina: *back from hunting* What's he doing here. *glares at Seth*

Carmen: Irina, be nice.

Irina: whatever…*walks inside*

Kate: never mind her…she's just, in one of her moods, again.

Seth: She reminds me of Rosalie…*shudders*

Emmett: hey! *folds arms at Seth*

Seth: oops, sorry bro.

Eleazar: So why are you here? Is there trouble?

Emmett: YES! Carlisle is trying to kill us! With…wait for it, wait for it…THE FISH!

Seth: *Jumps up* And the plastic fire!

Emmett and Seth: OMG! WE ARE GOING TO DIE! *bursts out in tears*

Eleazar: Um…*steps back*

Carmen: O please Emmett, why would Carlisle kill you?

Kate: Yeah, your just playing a prank on us again, aren't you.

Irina: *Thinking about calling Carlisle*

Emmett: You don't know how EVIL he is! EVIL! *Dramatically*

Seth: THE FISH! *Runs in circles*

Emmett: Ahhhhhh! *joins Seth*

Eleazar: This is going to be a LONG day. *rubs his forehead*

Kate: *walks over and catches them as they run and shocks them* SNAP OUT OF IT!

Seth: *sits down and sucks his thumb*

Emmett: OW! Jeez, stop doing that! *rubs his shoulder*

Irina: *leaves it for now and goes up to her room*

Kate: Then stop running in circles like you are mad or something.

Emmett: I think it too late...we ARE mad, duh!

Carmen: o Help me. *puts hand on forehead and walks into the house*

Eleazar: *laughs slightly at Emmett and Seth's madness* okay, so why did you two come here?

Seth: *rocking back and forth, sucking his thumb*

Emmett: Well, we were kinda hoping to stay here for a while…and if Carlisle comes to get us, can you please back us up?

Irina, Carmen and Kate: NO! *In panic of Eleazar saying yes, they all are outside in a sec*

Eleazar: *rolls eyes at the rest* sure, you are like family. *smiles*

Carmen: *puts hand to forehead* idiot. *walks back in*

Irina: Moron! *walks back in*

Kate: *frozen in shock of the things going through her head*

Emmett: Thanks man! *hugs Eleazar*

Seth: yes! Thanks soooo much! *hugs him to*

Eleazar: Sometimes I wonder if I have any common sense. *frowns at the choice he made*

**Once they were settled in, Emmett went hunting and Seth went to the burger place…**

Irina: Are you mad! We are going to suffer with these two!

Eleazar: Well, um…

Kate: Yeah, what were you thinking?

Carmen: Hey guys, let's not take all this out on him.

Irina: Yeah, let's just smile and be happy as they stay here for…forever! And drive us MAD! *Sarcasticly*

Kate: Yeah Carmen, do you really, REALLY want them here?

Eleazar: Hey! Emmett is like family, how would you feel if one of us went to him and he said no.

Irina: Yeah, but we are not insane and mad, and a complete utter IDIOT! Now are we!

Eleazar: good point. *lays back on sofa*

Carmen: Eleazar…

Eleazar: what? They are kinda…well…

Carmen: *frowns at him*

Eleazar: okay, okay, sorry. *holds hands up in surrender*

Irina: Well, if they are going to stay here…for a WHILE! *to Eleazar* I'm not going to feed, talk, sit near, touch that dog thing. *frowns*

Kate: *rolls eyes at Irina* I'm sure he feels the same to.

Irina: *glares at Kate*

Carmen: hey! Let's not fight, okay?

Irina: *Turns and looks out window*

Kate: *does the same, only she turns the other way*

Eleazar: Well, this is great…

Carmen: What is great, Eleazar…what can possibly be great NOW?

Eleazar: Well, no I have someone to play PlayStation with. *smiles wide*

Irina: ugh! *gets up and goes to her room*

Kate: moron! *goes to her room*

Carmen: real smooth. *lays back on sofa, folding her arms, gazing in front of her.*

Eleazar: *puts arm around her, pulling her close* hey, it will be okay…promise. *smiles*

Carmen: *turns to look at him* promise? *smiles, lips inches for each other*

Eleazar: yes, promise. *smiles and kisses her*

Emmett: *bursts threw door* awww, cute!

Carmen: EMMETT! *furious*

Eleazar: *pulls back awkwardly and lays back* yeah man.

Emmett: oops, sorry was that a private kiss…aw well! Who wants to hear a story of me eating a cookie once! *excited smile*

Irina: PISS OFF! *from her room*

Seth: *walks in* like I said…reminds me of Rosalie. *walks to kitchen*

Emmett: *sticks tongue out after him and turns back to Eleazar and Carmen* So? Wanna hear? *smiles*

Kate: help me *whipers to herself*

Eleazar: aw, man…maybe a next time…um, have some…um, things to do. *pretends to be disappointed*

Carmen: um, yeah…and I have to…um, help him. Yeah, help him, that's it! *smiles innocently*

Seth: *comes in living room* Aw man…mmm, wanna go prank call Edward! *excitedly*

Emmett: YES! That's brilliant! *runs to the phone*

Eleazar: poor Edward. *shakes head and takes Carmen's hand and they go up to his study*

Seth: Okay, but make sure it's Edward not Carlisle.

Emmett: Got ya! *presses in the buttons*

Seth: Is it ringing? *inpatient*

Emmett: yes!...um, what are we going to say?

Edward: *answers* hello

Seth: um, maybe that Bella's dead? *doesn't know he answered*

Emmett: No, she's probably with him right now….we can always tell him his car has been stolen.

Edward: what the…

Seth: YES!...no, he'll see that he's car is still outside.

Emmett: What about we tell him that Mike Newton is planning to visit Bella's.

Seth: Yes! Wait, who's Mike Newton?

Edward: Emmett!

Emmett: um, this guy…and what?

Seth: what, what? I didn't say your name. *confused*

Edward: SETH! EMMETT!

Emmett: o shit! HE ANSWERED! *puts phone down*

Seth: Thew! *wipes forehead* that was close!

Emmett: yes! He could have heard everything we just said.

Kate: idiots! *her phone rings and she picks up* Hello?

Edward: Hey, it's Edward.

Kate: Edward thank god!

Edward: Let me guess, Emmett and Seth is there?

Kate: yup…

Edward: And they are making you mad?

Kate: super yup!

Edward: Now you know how we feel, he he. Well, why are they there?

Kate: Something about Carlisle killing them, a fish and plastic fire.

Edward: o

Kate: yup, know what all that is about?

Edward: yup, and no…

Kate: very helpful, well, come and get them!

Edward: nope, we all see it as a vacation, good luck! *hangs up*

Kate: *looks shockingly at the phone and crushes it* ass wipe! *hears annoying, loud banging from kitchen* what the hell is going on? *goes down stairs along with Irina* Emmett?

Seth and Emmett: *Making music with the pots, pans and classes* We are making a ROCK band!

Seth: *makes guitar noises*

Emmett: *hits the pots and pans* woooo woooo!

Irina: I'm going out…um, hunting. *runs out frustrated*

Kate: Stop it!

Emmett: *ignores Kate* bom nom pow! *as he hits on the pots*

Kate: ugh! Wait for me Irina! *runs after her*

Seth: *gets an idea* hey, Em!

*they stop playing*

Emmett: Yes?

**Okay, what does Seth have in mind?**

**What will the Danli's do?**

**Find out in the next happy chappy! He he, hope you guys liked this chapter! I'm going to update the next chapter soon, cause this one is just like and build up to what's going to happen in the next one…PS: the next one is going to be FUNNY! **

**Please REVIEW! Tell me if you have ANY idea's, and even if you just want to tell me this was funny, bad…anything, REVIEW! **

**Or else…I'll send CARLISLE after you! With the (pumpumpumpum) FISH! **

**SO REVIEW!**

**Thanks!**


	11. Another list, and shopping for pencils

**Heya!**

**Okay, I know I said I will update soon in the last one and it's about a month away from last I updated…and I'm SOOOOO VERY SORRY about that, it's just I've been soooo busy and when I had time I wasn't in the mood or was to tired and lazy…so VERY SORRY, but I promised in the last chapter that this one will be funny, and that is sooooo true.**

**So I hope you enjoy this chapter and that you'll please review!**

**And thanx to everyone who waited and waited for me to update, and thanx to everyone who reviews and reads! LOVE YOU ALL!**

**Please Enjoy, and PLEASE REVIEW! I really, REALLY need your reviews!**

**PS: I always write this story like this:**

**Emmett: heya!**

**Seth: hey man!**

**Well, I'm going to try something new, hope it's better. **

**Chapter 11**

Emmett and Seth finished hitting on the pots and pans as Seth had an idea.

"Yes?" Emmett asked with a smile as if he already knew what Seth was going to say.

"Let's make a list of how to irritate one of them!" Seth almost shouted at Emmett.

"Yes! That's a great idea!" He said and then his face went blank and he thought for a sec.

"But…who?" He said with a confused, thinking face.

Seth wanted to answer but then he realized he didn't know either "Um…" he said as he thought.

"Um….what about, Eleazar?" Emmett said.

"Yes!" Seth said and smiled as if thousands of idea's already went through his head.

"Okay, let's start." Emmett said with a evil grin and a laugh in his eyes and ran off to go get the laptop and was back in a sec, he plugged it in and they sat at the kitchen table, staring at the laptop as if they don't know how to begin.

"Okay…what now?" Seth asked clueless.

"Um, guess we begin." Emmett said confused.

"Um…yeah, obviously…but with what?" Seth said biting his lip as he thought.

"Um…well, you have a brain to…so think." Emmett said as he tapped Seth's skull.

"Hey, stops that." Seth said and frowned slapping his hand away. "And by the way, I don't know him that well, so _you_ start" Seth said and poked him.

Emmett frowned and moved away from Seth and his pokingness.

"Mmmm, maybe…no…maybe…nah….YES, GOT IT!" Emmett said with excitement in his eyes and then just as he was about to type, Seth stopped him.

"First tell me…I'm your partner." Seth said with a pout.

"Okay" Emmett said excitedly and turned to Seth "This is what I got…since we are kind of roommates with them,you know living in the same house as them and all…this wont only be a list of how to irritate just Eleazar…but Kate, Carmen and Irina aswell!" he said totally excited and almost jumping up and down.

"Yeah! That's…wait what?" Seth said confused.

Emmett shook his head and sighed, then tried again. "Okay…since we are living with them for a few weeks…"

"Yes" Seth said for him to go on.

"We can make this list…"

"Yes, go on, go on!" Seth said excitedly.

"To irritate them all, not just Eleazar." Emmett said and smiled a huge excited smile.

"Oooooo! That's AWESOME!" Seth said and hopped up and down, then took a seat next to Emmett "Okay, start!" he said and looked at the screen excitedly.

"Okay, first…"

**List on how to irritate the Denali's! **

**(Okay, this can be used to irritate your roommate/family/friends/everyone)**

1st: Sit on the floor and talk to the wall

2nd: Tell them that someone called and said that it was really important but you can't remember who it was.

3rd: Every time they walk in yell "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and say "Shouldn't you be going somewhere?"

4th: Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look at them and mutter "Soon, soon…"

5th: Bring in random people from town. Give them tours of the house. Have them ask you about them in front of them, and reply "Oh, him/her? He/she won't be here much longer."

6th: Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on one side of the room. Laugh at the pencil.

7th: Talk back to your food. All of the sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining. "No. I want to watch them suffer."

8th: Sign them up for various activities. (Blood donor, organ donor)

9th: Whenever they brush their teeth, watch him/her do so. Take notes. And make posters and post it all around town or put it on Facebook or anywhere on the internet, and when they protests, say "The people have a right to know!"

10th: Read the phone book out loud excitedly (like for example: "Frank Johnson! Oh, wow! 051-430 9823! Holy Cow!)

"There…that's all I could think of!" Emmett said and laid back on the chair with his arms folded across his chest and a smile of pride on his face.

"That. Was. The. Most. Brilliant. List. EVER!" Seth said and jumped up and down clapping his hands.

"Thank you, thank you." Emmett said nodding his head proudly as if he bowed.

Seth jumped and the suddenly stopped as a bright idea popped into his mind. "Now…" he said and was almost in Emmett's face with his excitement "We can test it out!" he said and started jumping up and down again.

"YES!" Emmett said and jumped up from his chair and did a happy dance with Seth, singing their happy song.

"I'm awesome

You are awesome

We make lists to annoy people

We publish them and test them out

Over all, we are the BEST!" Seth and Emmett sang and shook their butts and after the song did a chest bump and a hi 5.

"C'mon, let's do this!" Emmett yelled smashing a fork into the table. "Um, oops, he he." He said looking at the fork half through the table. "Um…let's go." He said and rushed out the room leaving Seth there.

"Hey, wait for me!" Seth said and ran after him.

Emmett was sitting on the living room sofa with the laptop on his lap looking at the list, thinking of which one they should do. Seth sat across from him on the table and looked at the laptop.

"So…what now?" he said awkwardly as he looked around and clapped his hands together.

"Well, which one are we going to do?" Emmett said looking up at Seth.

"Mmmm, what about the pencil one!" Seth said pointing his finger half in the air with a huge smile.

"Yes! And after that we can do the talk to the wall one!" he said almost hopping up and down on the sofa.

"Yes!" Seth said also almost hopping up and down.

Emmett calmed down and was in plotting mode again.

"Okay…so first we need a whole lot of pencils…so, like Alice always says…" Emmett begun.

"Shopping!" Seth and Emmett yelled like girls and wiggled their fingers together.

**After a few min…**

Seth and Emmett were in Eleazar's car, without even asking, and on their way to the shop.

"Now let's see what type of music our dear friend Eleazar listens to." Emmett said and smiled as if his going to mock Eleazar if it's awful music, and the turned on the radio…and the baseball song from Muse started playing.

"OMG! I love this song!" Emmett yelled as he nodded his head to the beat.

"ME TOO!" Seth yelled and joined in with the nod and tapped on his leg to the beat.

Emmett tapped on the steering wheel and then they began to sing along.

"O baby don't you know by so far!...Super massive Black whole! Whoop whoop!" They sang and went crazy, not knowing that they are on the wrong side of the road.

Suddenly all you hear is cars crashing and horn going off and people shouting, but they still sing and go crazy, with shockingly luck missing all the cars and everything that's going on.

After a few min, they reached the shop and got out still singing and when they walked around the car and met they bump their butts together and Emmett did a front flip to the entrance and Seth a cart wheel…while singing.

Emmett entered the shop pretending to play the guitar and making guitar noises, while Seth sang in the most annoying high pitched voice ever…on top of it all, EVERYONE in the shop stared at them, then they also made a BIG finish by posing like gay guys.

"Yeah!" They both shouted while posing.

Emmett straightened up and turned to the shocked casher next to him "Now, where can one find thee pencils?" he asked very formally.

"Um…o-over he-here." She said shocked by his handsomeness and his formalness after the weirdness, and pointed in the direction of the writing stuff hall, and then stated walking not taking her eyes off Emmett and stumbled over her feet now and then till they reached the hall.

"Thank you, dear lady." He said and smiled taking her hand and kissing it formally.

She just looked at him shockingly and Seth really tried his best to hold his laugh in as much as he could of the sound of how fast her heart was beating, he even needed to hold on to one of the shelves for support.

Emmett stood up straight and winked at her and then walked to the shelve with the pencils.

Seth looked at the lady with his hand on his mouth and tears in his eyes of the laughter he was holding back.

"M-my…ple-plesure. I'll be o-over there if y-you need m-me." She said and stumbled her way back to the till not taking her eyes of Emmett.

When the lady was gone, Seth couldn't take it anymore and let his laughter out…of course he thought no one would hear, but he laughed so hard it ego through the whole shop and everyone was looking at him, hoe could see him, the rest of the shop just looked around and up and stopped with what they were doing. Emmett was just stacking pencils in his hands and in the shopping basket, as much as the basket could carry and then he turned to Seth who was rolling on the floor of laughter.

"Pssst…bro, I got the pencils, you can stop now." He said, thinking he was distracting people from noticing all the pencils.

Seth really couldn't stop laughing, but he managed to stand up and follow Emmett as he went to pay for the pencils.

**After a lot of embarrassment at the shop…**

Emmett and Seth was finally in the car again, on their way back, but when they reached the road where they drove at the wrong side of the road, there was news reporters and vans everywhere, and even a helicopter and some ambulances, even the police.

"Wow, what happened here?" Emmett said as he pulled to a stop in front of the HUGE mess.

"Don't know, probably some crazy freak that drove at the wrong side of the road and made everyone crash." Seth said.

"Yeah, some people can be idiots." Emmett said.

"Yeah." Seth said and they both sighed at the same time and nodded their heads.

"Well, we can't stand here forever, we need to go test out that list before it's too late!" Emmett said and pointed his finger in the air and made a bump in the roof, he looked up and pulled his mouth weird "oops…we'll just say it was a…was a…um….a…" he said as he thought.

"A bird!" Seth said punching Emmett on the shoulder.

"Yes, but we got to make it convincing…we can say it was an griffin! Like in the movies!" Emmett said excitedly.

"Yes! If they don't believe that…then I don't know what's going on in the world." Seth said with a nod as he through his hands in the air.

"Yes!...Now, let's get back." Emmett said and pulled back and took another road to the house.

**Okay, so that was chapter 11, hope it was good to you guys! :D**

**Again, really sorry for taking so long to update this, but I promise I will try to update very soon on the next, so please review to keep me in the mood to write more….I really, REALLY love getting reviews, so PLEASE review!**

**Tell me if you have any ideas? What you thought about this chapter? Anything you want say, please review and tell me! :D**

**LOVE YOU GUYS!**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**


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